Whores

I get instant messages sometimes from porn robots that pretend to be women. They try to get you to join their porn sites where you can download women seducing goldfish and what not. Well, today one of them started a real life convwersation with me, and I turned the topic away from her breasts, and onto math.

[09:08] celiciababe4reallove: hi
[09:08] marksaal: well i guess you're not there
[09:08] celiciababe4reallove: am here?
[09:09] marksaal: oh - thats usually what the robots type before they send the webpage Im supposed to join
[09:09] celiciababe4reallove: really/?'
[09:09] celiciababe4reallove: i see
[09:09] celiciababe4reallove:
[09:11] celiciababe4reallove: asl pls
[09:11] celiciababe4reallove: ?
[09:11] marksaal: hehehe give up
[09:11] celiciababe4reallove: what?.
[09:12] marksaal: I'm not stupid.
[09:12] marksaal: ask me a math problem
[09:12] celiciababe4reallove: 2+3
[09:13] marksaal: 23. See, I am pure science.
[09:13] celiciababe4reallove: ok i see
[09:13] marksaal: yup
[09:14] marksaal: lets do some more
[09:14] marksaal: math can be fun
[09:14] celiciababe4reallove: yes
[09:14] celiciababe4reallove: can you see me now
[09:14] celiciababe4reallove: on display image
[09:14] marksaal: no i turned the image off
[09:15] marksaal: i want to do math problems
[09:15] marksaal: ONLY
[09:15] celiciababe4reallove: click it on
[09:15] marksaal: i cant
[09:15] celiciababe4reallove: click on it
[09:15] marksaal: I will if you solve some math problems.
[09:16] celiciababe4reallove: root of 16
[09:16] marksaal: FOUR
[09:16] marksaal: but YOU have to solve some
[09:16] celiciababe4reallove: right
[09:16] marksaal: 25-(6/3)
[09:17] celiciababe4reallove: 23
[09:17] marksaal: hey, not bad soldier
[09:17] marksaal: level 2
[09:17] celiciababe4reallove: yes
[09:17] marksaal: 9^2-6^6
[09:18] marksaal: Forget math
[09:18] marksaal: Do you want to play trivial pursuit?
[09:18] celiciababe4reallove: nop
[09:18] marksaal: ok
[09:19] celiciababe4reallove: yes
[09:19] marksaal: Ok, well then we can't be friends
[09:19] celiciababe4reallove: ok bye
[09:19] marksaal: bye
[09:20] marksaal: Sorry it had to end like this.

I condemn the United States

"I condemn the United States and all 12 of its colonies."

How to pick up girls.

Cradling a baby is quite natural and simple. Place the baby's head in the crook of one of your arms and wrap your other arm around the baby or hold the original arm with the second arm. This is a great position for talking to baby or looking at them. Many babies sleep very well in this position. It's also a good beginners position, particularly for younger kids or siblings.

Snapdragon Snapshakes!

The newest craze in getting wasted is the Snapdragon Snapshake! This isn't your momma's milkshake, or your fathers for that matter! It is an adult beverage with a cool twenty-somethings twist. It's got a whole new vibe, and a taste that's a real kick in the seat! Put your seatbelt on and cross your fingers, because your tastebuds are going on a goddamn adventure whether they like it or not. Yeah, YOU LIKE THAT DON'T YOU TASTEBUDS!

But why pay up to $10 for a Snapdragon Snapshake at the bar when you can easily make them at home - FOR CHEAP! Heres how!

Snapdragon Snapshake Ingredients
2 oz. peach juice
2 oz. crushed watermelon seeds
3 oz. Jim Beam
1-2 tuft(s) Unicorn hair

Shake VIGOROUSLY for 45 minutes without stopping or handing to somebody else. Heat in microwave on "popcorn" setting (1-9 minutes). And you're done...

And hey soldier... enjoy.