Snack City
Snack City - you'll come for the snacks, but you'll stay for the prices! Note: please do not stay past 10 PM because that's when we close.
Snack City was founded on the inherent human right to enjoy snacks. We carry a large variety of potato chips, including the popular sour cream and onion flavor. But we carry much more than chips. Look closely and you'll see that we sell everything from applesauce to yogurt (note - we do not sell anything that starts with the letter Z, and also do not sell pudding).
If you are thirsty, head over to our exciting "Drink Saloon", which is located in the back of each store. We carry an assortment of over 7 soft drink flavors (8), including the popular Coca Cola. Please do not mix sodas to make a "suicide", as we will have to charge you full price for each flavor. The Drink Saloon is not a toy.
Got a hankerin' for Slurpees? Then you're in the wrong place because Slurpee is a registered trademark of 7-11. However, we sell what our lawyers have us call "Frosted Beverage Semi-Solid Drinks", which come in cherry and banana flavor. Please follow the rules of the Drink Saloon and refrain from mixing flavors. Let's be adults.
If during your shopping you find the need for a bathroom break to relieve yourself or tend to feminine issues, please go across the street to McDonalds. Snack City is for food, not bodily functions, and frankly we are offended that you would expect anything more.
Vacations are fun for the whole family, until you get lost on the freeway! That's why we sell maps. Please purchase the maps if you have any travel questions. Our employees are instructed not to give directions to freeway onramps or solve travel problems. That's what the maps are for. Employees are there to sell snacks.
Did we mention corn nuts? Snack City has tons of corn nuts. And by tons, we mean 6 or 7 bags. We're actually short on corn nuts, so please only buy them if you really need them.
Snack City reserves the right to refuse service to anyone, but we tend to use this right only on coloreds. Snack City is not racist - some of Snack City's closest friends are black. In fact, Snack City's best friend in 4th grade had a black friend.
Snack City is tired of putting up with your bullshit. Snack City wants you to get your fucking snacks and get out.
Snack City was founded on the inherent human right to enjoy snacks. We carry a large variety of potato chips, including the popular sour cream and onion flavor. But we carry much more than chips. Look closely and you'll see that we sell everything from applesauce to yogurt (note - we do not sell anything that starts with the letter Z, and also do not sell pudding).
If you are thirsty, head over to our exciting "Drink Saloon", which is located in the back of each store. We carry an assortment of over 7 soft drink flavors (8), including the popular Coca Cola. Please do not mix sodas to make a "suicide", as we will have to charge you full price for each flavor. The Drink Saloon is not a toy.
Got a hankerin' for Slurpees? Then you're in the wrong place because Slurpee is a registered trademark of 7-11. However, we sell what our lawyers have us call "Frosted Beverage Semi-Solid Drinks", which come in cherry and banana flavor. Please follow the rules of the Drink Saloon and refrain from mixing flavors. Let's be adults.
If during your shopping you find the need for a bathroom break to relieve yourself or tend to feminine issues, please go across the street to McDonalds. Snack City is for food, not bodily functions, and frankly we are offended that you would expect anything more.
Vacations are fun for the whole family, until you get lost on the freeway! That's why we sell maps. Please purchase the maps if you have any travel questions. Our employees are instructed not to give directions to freeway onramps or solve travel problems. That's what the maps are for. Employees are there to sell snacks.
Did we mention corn nuts? Snack City has tons of corn nuts. And by tons, we mean 6 or 7 bags. We're actually short on corn nuts, so please only buy them if you really need them.
Snack City reserves the right to refuse service to anyone, but we tend to use this right only on coloreds. Snack City is not racist - some of Snack City's closest friends are black. In fact, Snack City's best friend in 4th grade had a black friend.
Snack City is tired of putting up with your bullshit. Snack City wants you to get your fucking snacks and get out.
posted by Comedy Mark @ 2:40 PM
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